My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
