You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
