Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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