sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
