Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
