I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
