I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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