Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
