Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just blew my weed a kiss
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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