I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
