Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
last night I used snow as a chaser
His nipple licking is glorious
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