and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Randomize
