what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
