He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
