It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
