if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
