She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
