What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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