new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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