used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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