Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Fuck appropriateness.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
