and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
