Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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