too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
