And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
