just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
