I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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