Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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