I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
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