I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
