I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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