Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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