At least make sure they are 18
Why
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
