I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
