counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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