Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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