Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
