please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
