I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
