I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize