I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
