i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Randomize
