I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
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