I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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