Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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