Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
