Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize