I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
nutella sex= disaster
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
