We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
