What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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