No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Nicole vs. Life
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
