It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
