dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My balls are so social today.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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