hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
i think i just lost a toe
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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