Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
our cab driver is having phone sex.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Randomize
