before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
