Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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