She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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