I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Randomize
