she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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