What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
