i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
my poor anus
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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