I wish I only lived at night.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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