She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
