I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
