Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
