Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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