Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
false alarm. still invincible.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
