I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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