I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
