My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
