just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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