Betty ford says i'm here all night
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
