ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
