You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize