just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
