they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think I have vodka in my lungs
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
