Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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