glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
