worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
