Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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