Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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