I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
